Does Your Car Have Any Embarrassing Features?

The seats of my Volkswagen Golf MK3 are wielded to the reclining rails so they can’t move. I have perfect distance but not for others who want to drive it

Had an early 70’s era Chevy half-ton pickup. Three on the tree and a clutch so stiff you had to weigh at least 150 pounds to push it in without lifting yourself off the seat. The shift linkage was “a bit loose” and would often hang up midway between first and second. This, of course, only happened in the middle of busy intersections, and required jumping out of the truck, popping the hood, jiggling the linkage , slamming the hood and slinking away, all to a symphony of honking horns.

The driver’s side window on my ’93Volvo binds on the way down and they stops unless pushed by hand.
Always have to explain it’s an old car when I go through tolls or customs.

My current Fiat spider’s top leaks in the rain, but that’s to be expected, I had BWM 2002 that was a driving restoration project. (I finally sold it to someone would do a proper restoration on it) It’s windshield gasket would leak in the rain. I would strap a tarp over the windshield whenever I parked it and it looked like it might rain. My Fiat X1/9, well it was the rust that kept popping up everywhere, then there was my spitfire, I bought it from a guy that lowered it so low it would scrape bottom going over any speed bump, and was undriveable with a passenger that weighed in at over 150 pounds. There is a theme here. Budget vintage cars, and not enough funding to do a proper restoration.

Embarrassing features about my car? Let me think…
Is it the warning lights and sounds in my underground parking turning on after 30 seconds idle run, urging me to leave the place or risk intoxication? Is it the airboxes’ screaming for mercy every time I push the pedal to hard which makes me think of Guernica? Is it the sun shade tending to fall onto my lap every now and then, preferably at high speeds? You did mention oil stains already, only recently my fountain solution container started leaking as well. The slow motion wipers or warning lights maybe, like raindrops or any other car were at least 3 miles away? The fuel cap, which I happen to forget on the fuel dispenser every second time I fill up my car? The faulty carburettors, which once left me blocking the very left lane on a 6-lane autobahn, the police showing up with helicopters and stopping the traffic on all those lanes?
No, I think it’s the horn which I use every time when overtaking a slower car on the outskirts sounding like a 3-year-old using a toy-trumpet.
Which car am I talking about? Actually, it is a ’66 BMW 1600-2, your own car’s older brother.

Stacey – How true. I owned a 72 1800 ES and no one could get in gracefully. Once in you can stretch your legs out without bending your knees and it was pretty roomy. People would also bang their heads getting in Getting out is an entirely different story. My uncle needed a ride one afternoon and almost became a permanent fixture in the back seat. We were all laughing as we tried to figure out how to get him out. I miss that car.

My winter car is a Chevy Cobalt. Nothing wrong with it(other than the normal rattles) but embarrassing nevertheless…

My Triumph GT6 mk2 has non-standard rear fog lights fitted by a previous owner, tastefully fitted at the rear of the car, but the switch on the dash is a modern bright blue thing totally out of character with the rest of the original period switches, when people ask what its for I tell them to make sure they are strapped in, if they engage it I will not be responsible for there safety.

I wouldn’t necessarily describe it as a feature, but its a designed in thing:
All Volvo 1800’s have a deceptively roomy front seats. Its actually quite roomy and comfortable once you’re in the car, but getting there can be somewhat awkward. Although the car has fairly good proportions, it seems that some of them are off enough to throw people (particularly those who aren’t used to older cars). The one in this instance is that the doors open quite a bit further back than you expect, but not so that you notice. The result is that a stranger opens the door and goes to get in normally and gets stuck halfway in with their shin wedged between the floor and the dashboard. They aren’t down low enough to sit yet, so they are left leaning heavily on the door or the roof of the car. Then they try the reverse sit, putting their butt on the seat and attempting to swing their legs into the car, only to find there’s not enough room between the front of the seat and the open door. At this point I’m usually trying to determine if it will be rude to explain to someone how to get into the car (as if the person had never seen an automobile before).

And for my personal car (a 1973 Volvo 1800ES), the exhaust pipe’s rear axle crossover tube is sitting such that when I have a certain amount of weight in the car, it rattles on the right rear shock absorber, making a very nicely restored car sound like a complete bucket of bolts to everyone within earshot…

(Oh, and we have a 2011 VW Jetta Sportwagen TDI with a manual. The car has a 700 rpm engine cutout, so if you get the revs too low, the ECU turns the engine off. And apparently, VWs have long since made their owners turn the key completely off before being able to restart the engine again, leaving you frantically scrabbling at the ignition when you just popped the clutch wrong when the green light turns…)

I own a 1990 BMW E30 Convertible. A fantastic little car with lots of history and is an absolute joy to drive. Until not too long ago, when I finally spotted the problem, I had the most difficult time starting the car. I would have to press on the gas just enough and rev the engine for a few seconds after starting the car to avoid it shutting off. In all honestly, I could never let anyone else drive the car because only I knew how to adequately get it to start. You can imagine how embarrassing it was taking the E30 to the car wash and having the attendant tell you the employees can’t start the car… awkward. Finally, after reading through what felt like a million forums, I read about a guy who also had problems starting his E30. He replaced his fuel pump regulator and the problem was fixed. I decided to take a chance and replace the fuel pump regulator on my E30… and voila! The problem was finally gone! The car still has many other embarrassing quirks, such as the hood being a slightly different shade of red as the rest of the car. However, it’s only noticeable at night…

My ’87 Carrera: The previous owner added red piping to the seats when he reupholstered them. Some people like it but I think it makes the seats look like they belong in a ski boat. Also, it has a few thin spots in the paint from the previous owner getting a little aggro with the buffer.

Being the owner of several Citroën CXes, I haven’t got a shred of clue where to start. Citroën CXes are very intelligent cars. Their design oozes intelligence and French raison d’Etre. They are sort of like living creatures. They seem to know when they are driven by whom. Our daily driver, a 1991 TGD Turbodiesel Break (Break = Wagon, google CX or CXA Wagon if You haven’t got s**t for clues on what I’m on about) seems to have some sort of knowledge abt. who is driving it. Clearly, it does not want to be driven by my girlfriend.

This afternoon, the cruise controle would only allow the car to settle at 2200 RPMs – my girlfriend drove it home with a constant 2200 RPM idle – which is where the turbo kicks in heavily, leaving a healthy 320 Newton Metres of Tourque as idle. Not fair.

As the car returned on the driveway, it settled to its usual 900 RPM idle, and everything worked again.

The CX was proving some sort of point, I guess.

My previous Alfa Romeo 33 1.7 8V had this thing where, sometimes, when I indicated to the right the windscreen wipers went on… Kinda embarrassing on a sunny day…

Thankfully my new(er) Alfa 33 1.7 16 QV doesn’t have that problem (it has others…..) 😀

Rust. Lots of rust. Did I mention the rust?

Also, valve cover gaskets that leak oil onto the headers, sending smoke up into the heater. That may be more embarrassing than the rust, actually.

My ratty 84 VW gti had a loose/ripped headliner. So much so that when I had occupants I would give them some push pins to keep from the headliner from falling in front of their faces. I miss that damn car 🙁

My 633CSi had so so many.
Broken sunroof that leaked water
High beams that didn’t work
Headlights that sporadically went off and on again
Oil leaks
non functioning turn signals
Window seals that let in lots of air and noise on the highway
dent right in the “sharknose,” the best looking part of the car
US bumpers